March 7th 2010

The Equality Ride Bus has left Pennsylvania and is on the way to Houghton, NY where we are barely welcomed onto Houghton College campus. Once there we’ll be treated like criminals. Each one of us Riders will have a “host” student that will walk around with us on campus, even to the bathroom. I don’t understand what they’re afraid of.

Someone today told me about having sex last night. While I am sex positive and all about having a good time, I’m not happy about this person having unprotected oral sex and I felt the heat coming up to my face…we just got tested for HIV last night (I reminded), and here they are exposing themselves again. It’s frustrating. Yet the reason I’m so upset is because I have done the same thing. When I got tested last night I had the support of my partner who drove to Philly to spend the evening with us. Kris and I were a little nervous. It had been over a year since either one of us had been tested for HIV; we also had a separation period about six months ago in which we both had unprotected sex with other people. It ran through my mind that if I tested reactive I would die from guilt because I have known better all this time. I should have had protected sex all this time with others, but I didn’t. And I could have given HIV to someone I love. How would I have made it better then? I have to wonder how one goes about apologizing for being so selfish and inconsiderate. And I also wonder how forgiveness (that is not often mentioned) must be central to the process of health and healing once an individual learns they are Positive. We both tested non-reactive, meaning that up to 3 months ago we were not infected. We plan to get tested again in three months even though it has been more than three months that we have been together and monogamous. As a couple, we have decided to be more informed, and get tested regularly for several reasons. First, how can we lead if not by example? Second, we have recent tattoos and piercings and want to be absolutely certain that the places we are going to are clean and considering the health and safety of its patrons. Lastly, regular testing means we are also keeping the issue of HIV and safe sex at the forefront of our lives. Kris and I don’t want to forget that people are dying, people in our community as well as straight folks. This isn’t just a gay issue, as much as others want to believe it is.

I’ve settled into my space on the Bus, with my belongings all around me set up in such a way that I feel like I’m camping indoors. I wanted this blog to be about Valley Forge Christian College and to talk about Repent America, and how we were encouraged by the calls and e-mails we received after our visit, vigil, and protest even though the students were not allowed to talk to us. However, there are so many other things going on throughout this Ride that I also want to share those, too.

Please feel free to ask questions regarding certain stops, and I'll answer them if my blog doesn't answer your burning questions...